A Message to The Queen Bees – We’re Coming for You
Image: Crown.
Here’s the deal. If you’re one of those women who blocks, gossips, undercuts, or critiques other women more harshly than men, it’s time to STOP.
We’re in wealth management..a highly male industry with 75% men at the top and more than 75% male in the advisor and planner ranks. We have enough to deal with without your Queen Bee, catty, mean girl antics. CUT IT OUT.
I know….
When you came up the ranks, there may have been only one “slot” for a woman and you wanted it badly.
You worked incredibly hard to build your practice and achieve your success.
You strive for perfection and worry that other women will somehow bring down your hard-won standing.
But, times have changed. You’re holding on to outdated, back-in-the-day thinking. And, it’s not a good look.
There’s no longer just “one spot” inside the corp ranks for a woman. When one is promoted to a senior leadership rank, we see a multiplier effect with three more are coming up behind her. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking your turf is fragile.
With a $30 Trillion wealth transfer underway to women and women wanting to work with women advisors, there’s more than enough for every woman advisor. Plus, when a woman runs an over-subscribed practice, she has to refer business to others. If you’re a Queen Bee, you won’t be in the line-up.
The women around you? They are doing incredible work. You won’t be judged on the performance of other women – because there are more of us now. (See above.)
So, get over yourself. Stop being a part of the SYSTEM of inequality.
Why stop? Do it for yourself because you won’t win against the united front of supportive women.
The women you’re trying to tamp down are networked and stronger together than you are by yourself. We’ll give you the grace of an occasional slip-up but if you’re a pattern Mean Girl, we’re saying your name. We’re banding together to block and oust you in the future.
Madeline Albright said “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” You should remember this.
So, what can you do to fix your bad behavior?
So glad you asked. Three steps – Reflect. Repair. Grow.
Reflect. Self-reflection is the first action towards becoming a better human. What is the inner struggle that is underlying your behavior? Get clear on it, so you can rise above it.
Repair. If you’ve acted out recently, go apologize. Take responsibility and have a frank question about what you were feeling and why you did or said what you did. Don’t try to make the other person see your POV. You need to show remorse.
Grow. Find a close friend and acknowledge your poor performance. Ask for her help in spotting problematic behavior during meetings. AND, GET EDUCATED. You need to read up on the stats of women in financial services. I wonder, do you even believe that the System is Rigged?
If you’ll do this, we’ll be excited to have you in the club. Tell your story of transformation and help anyone you see do the same. There’s a saying “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” You’ll go farther WITH us.
If you’re a woman who has recently encountered Mean Girl.
I’m sorry you’ve dealt with this. You likely felt disappointment and even shock when you interacted with another woman leader who pulled a dirty trick. You’re the victim here, so you don’t owe Mean Girl anything. But, you owe yourself the respect of setting a boundary for the future. Consider having a direct conversation and setting the boundaries for how you expect to be treated. BTW – doing so increases your perceived executive presence. It’s not an easy conversation to have, but you got this! 🏆💪🎉
